The Night and Day of Perception

The love I feel is my beating heartbeat that can never be taken away. The very heart that once broke and was shredded to pieces is still aching and longing for the beauty that can be seen when one is in love. My lips will never again part and tell of the pain written in my heart. They are seamlessly stitched together, vying for the attention of a lonely and solemn night. Eyes search deep into the souls of those around me, determining which can be trusted and which I must avoid. Silence keeps me safe, yet the fear keeps me trapped. The beauty that is inside me is silently burning with passion of reverie and peaceful longevity. My imagination drifts off to wonderful places of serendipity and peaceful waves of passion and beauty. The hills that form and outline the silhouette of the sunset can never truly speak of the sun's radiant and glorious bright light. For, as much as the fading sky wishes to be alive, the sun will yet continue to set until the dark gloom of the night surrounds the lake. The rustling of the trees no longer speaks of birds chirping and squirrels playing, but of ghouls lurching and ghosts haunting through the night. Yet, even then, the night can only last for so long. It must end and with it the rising sun will come again. But alas, it will be back and speak yet again of horrors, monsters and demons. Life seems to do that to us. Switching from night to day and bringing it's own individual beauty and unimaginable terrors with it. Nothing you do will change the everlasting cycle. Screaming out in pain or shouting to the dark sky will not make the sun come faster. But laying in the soft grass with the wind gently blowing at your face and wishing desperately for it to last will not keep it from silently disappearing. No, night must come again. The goal is not to change the night to day or change the monsters to butterflies, but rather to change the perception of the horrible or blissful world in which you live. That world can speak of peace or nightmares, the time of day does not change the mode of your mind. Either way, it remains the same, constantly changing and constantly moving. My lifelong wish and dream is to see the beauty of the sparkling stars in the dark and terrifying sky, the place in which I once called home. I am yearning for the time when I can once again call it home, but fear won't take over my body and control my every action and thought. Then, when the day comes again, the feeling in the air is not quite so unique and different to that darkened night. I wish and long for the ability to see light in everything and everyone around me, yet to be objective and not waste my time, expecting it to last forever. I need to keep working on this part of me. I know it's there and I know I can still see it once again, I just cannot be too scared to let it come out. It's there, just don't hide it. You'll be okay, just keep trying and never give up, love.